Smith's first mistake is failing to allow his characters or the premise to do anything funny. Jones (played by one-time Nickelodeon star Kel Mitchell) never reacts like a rational human being to his scenario, adjusting to it immediately (because the plot apparently demands it). Obviously, I'm not looking for writing that plunges the emotional depths of what it is to be junk-free, but the film is too busy trying to concoct elaborate scenarios rather than let Jones and his best friend Craig ("Weeds" and A Day in the Life star Page Kennedy) just bounce off one another in a panic over the magical castration. In fact, nobody in the movie seems all that fazed or even interested that Jones' crotch has been reduced to a patch of flesh; perhaps Smith was afraid calling too much attention to the plot device would make the movie unrealistic, but it's the premise of the movie: if the audience is watching it, then presumably they've already bought into it.

I recently found myself watching a clip from a tenth anniversary reunion show with the "All That" cast, and Mitchell was showing off his skill for physical comedy. While his buddy Kenan Thompson has secured a fine gig on "Saturday Night Live", Mitchell's been mostly MIA since Mystery Men and a cameo in The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle. Early in See Dick Run there is a single, solitary scene where the actor gets to deliver a few wry, sarcastic lines, and those two comments are funnier than the 80 minutes of mugging he's forced to do for the rest of the movie. Certainly "All That" (especially the clip in question) goes to an extreme level of slapstick that might not fit in a movie like this, but there's almost nothing to enjoy about the performance he gives here. As his friend, Page Kennedy fares a little better, but the jokes he's given are all tired and worn-out. The movie is also littered with irrelevant, unfunny side characters (including a loan shark, a bodyguard and a government agent) that don't have any relevance other than to eat up enough time to stretch the movie to feature length.

The other massive oversight here is that Richard doesn't learn anything from his journey. He creates a list of the five women he wronged the most, and goes to their houses one by one to find out if they're the ones who created his predicament (or is that dedicament?), but all it leads to is painfully contrived revenge/fight scenes with each successive woman. In fact, while the movie is ostensibly about Richard learning to respect women, the whole film seems mighty misogynistic with the way all of the man's angry exes end up shrieking at him. They're painful, one-dimensional caricatures that bring the whole movie down; the only women in the film who don't want to kill Dick want to sleep with him. The worst example comes late in the movie when Jones discovers he can no longer throw a baseball and proclaims in horror that, "I'm turning into a woman!" Make no mistake, this is a classy movie.

By the time the film was ready to pull out the oldest, most painful, contrived, awful, never-ever plot device in all of writing and dart through an entirely unearned conclusion, I was already so desensitized that I barely even flinched. See Dick Run plays Smith took one pass at the screenplay and never bothered to look at the film as a whole, never considered how the numerous pieces of his movie barely fit together. Yeah, writing a formula comedy sounds easy, but even in a movie like this, the hook is still the hook. After that, character, story, and above all, the actual comedy are still, in fact, necessary.

The DVD
See Dick Run comes in a cheap-feeling clear plastic case, with a cheap-looking cover to go with it (Mitchell standing between two girls I can neither confirm or deny are actually from the film itself, giving a "what, me worry?" shrug). The back cover is more of the same (Mitchell with another girl, lookin' smug), with a few lines (NON STOP LAUGHS! A GREAT RIDE!) that hope to trick people into thinking they're quotes from critics (they aren't quotes from anyone). There isn't anything printed on the backside of the cover to show through on the inside of the case, and the disc is adorned with the same image as the front cover.

The Video and Audio
The 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen image on this disc reflects the qualities of the cameras on which it was filmed. It looks mildly atrocious, a smeary, interlaced, incredibly soft mess. I mean, it looks like a low-budget movie, so on the whole it should be judged against movies of a similar ilk, and I didn't notice anything like edge enhancement or compression artifacts, but this is one of the softest looking images I've seen in a long time.

Audio is 2.0 Stereo only, and, like the picture, the audio is invariably impacted by the low-budget nature of the production. Most of the time the dialogue clearly reflects the environment it was filmed in, like the living room of a house, the interior of a car or out on the streets. No subtitles or captions are provided.

The Extras
Weirdly, when I popped the disc in, the movie's trailer started playing, which made me wonder if this was a screener or final product, but the packaging gives no indication it's a check-disc or anything. The menu doesn't link to it: Chapters and Play Movie are the only options.

Conclusion
Skip it. Let's hope Kel Mitchell's next project is more than a little bit better than this.